the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
