It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
