Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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