My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
What a dumb baby whore.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
