I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
