It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
