lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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