this just has baby written all over it
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
