isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize