girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
They left me at home... I'm a liability
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
