She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Randomize
