clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
