I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
did you just send me my own nude
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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