i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
