Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
