Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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