happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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