im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
