Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
