Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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