so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize