Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
