Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
