I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
