PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
