I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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