just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
