I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
