im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you win again, gameday.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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