Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize