are you still at the devil's house?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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