please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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