I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Your penis caused this!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
