It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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