she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
