JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Drunk is a universal language darling
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
