Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
