Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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