I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
