Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
