that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
