i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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