i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
