Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
