You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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