I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
nutella sex= disaster
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
