Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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