What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
