ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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