bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
