I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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