she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
