I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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