Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
