Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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