Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
