Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
