there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
