I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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