She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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