He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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