I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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