u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Randomize
